Dear Friends and Family,

The Results

Many of you were worried about me this semester as I took on the atheism/agnosticism class at UTC. Before this class I was relatively ignorant on the subject of apologetics, and taking the subject at a secular university from a non-believing professor must have seemed scary to you. It was scary to me, and I confess at times even I flirted with unbelief (atheism/agnosticism). I flirted with giving up. I have never in my life felt so isolated from God. The arguments were challenging and even daunting at times, and I—like everyone else—don’t have all of the answers.

It is in that fact—that I don’t have all the answers—that I found a certain consolation. We can’t always know why God does things, commands things, or let’s bad things happen. We can’t always reconcile our beliefs with science or philosophy, but part of being a Christian is being in a relationship with Christ and knowing that our hope is beyond science and philosophy. That isn’t to say that we should abandon our reason for blind faith, but only realize that all faiths—believing and unbelieving—lack explanation in certain areas. Both atheists and Christians have unanswered questions; the difference is that Christians are in a very deep relationship with a very complex and loving God.

You can stop worrying now. I doubt this will be the darkest challenge that I face in life, but it is one that I believe has bettered me as a person and a Christian. Timothy Keller says a faith without doubts is like a body with no antibodies. If as a child you had chickenpox, the good news is that you are now immune to chickenpox. Thankfully our body is designed in such a way that once our body learns to fight an illness it can guard against it in the future. The bad news is that chickenpox can return in the form of shingles which are much more painful. Our doubts are like chickenpox in that we can eventually master them and guard against them in the future. They are also like chickenpox in that those doubts may lie dormant for a long time and later manifest in a much nastier more painful way. The best we can do is prepare for the storm.

In reality, it turns out the likelihood of me being converted by the class is relatively low. At the beginning of the semester the professor had each student rank their belief on a scale from one to seven. A student who identified as a one was a complete unbeliever and atheist. A student who identified as a four was an agnostic, right in the middle. The sevens like myself were those who considered themselves almost 100% sure that an Ultimate (a god of some sort) exists. My professor identified as a three or four, as he considered himself a skeptic (meaning he believes it is impossible for anyone to know) but also preferred God didn’t exist. He took the same survey from the class at the end of the semester and the number looked much the same. Things shifted a bit between the atheists/agnostics (some twos became ones, etc), but it didn’t appear that any believer had lowered their number. In fact, there was one more seven (presumably from the six category) than there had been at the beginning of the semester.

What I’ve Learned: The Church is Part of the Problem

We read from many unbelievers this semester. Some were nice and diplomatic, others venomous and bitter. Among the unbelievers we read and some of the students I found that most of them had been hurt in some way by the church.

In some cases it was simply that the church didn’t have the answers to their questions. This is why I took this class, not just so I would have the answer for myself, but that I would have an answer to anyone with serious and legitimate questions about faith. Jesus does not allow for a passive faith. Tim Keller also says that the church is a hospital for sinners (Christians and non-Christians alike), not a museum of saints. A church without answers is like a hospital without doctors.

Many had been hurt by the church directly or indirectly. Some were the victims of hypocrisy and self-righteousness on part of members of the church. Others witnessed it and it scared them off. I see people on the street corners with signs that say drunkards and whores go to hell. It’s not difficult to open a book and find a long bloody history in the name of Jesus. It’s all too often we treat sinners like they are the sin. In keeping with Keller’s analogy, we are medics that have been commissioned to heal the least, the lonely, and the lost. To spite the sinner is not only hypocrisy, but it is as if the hospital locked you out because you were sick. It is as we are the task force sent to free the hostages from terrorists, but instead we shoot the hostages.

I could list my sins, but I’m sure you could do it for me. It’s not hard to guess. The real sin is that if I did list my sins I would feel a sort of self-righteous pride in my brutal honesty. I would feel prideful for my own humility. My greatest sins aren’t related to lust, alcohol, drugs, adultery, or murder. My greatest sin is my own pride and how arrogant and self-righteous and hypocritical I am. I can’t even write this with humility. Everything I do right is tainted by my very sin nature. What I’d like to know is how I can walk into a church with a fellow sinner of any type and think I’m in any position to throw a stone. Don’t get me wrong, I do it all the time. I have little faith in people, as if I thought that if everyone in the world were like me it would be a better place. You would think I know better, yet I don’t act like it.

In a sense, the problem with atheists isn’t that they don’t believe as we do, the problem is that the Church has left some very deep wounds. So, when the atheist says they don’t like church because it’s full of hypocrites, I agree. And when they see the preacher on the corner with a sign that says “turn or burn” I’m just as angry as they are. Sometimes I get the silly idea that I’m the doctor in Keller’s hypothetical hospital, but I’m really a just a patient. In a sense, Christians are God’s medics, but in another sense we’re patients.

I think I’ve made the case clear that theology and philosophy are vital. I think obedience, particularly the call to humility is essential. I think if we know the truth then we should be humble. And if we are humble it’s not so hard to love the least, the lost, and the lonely. In a sense, humility seems impossible for us, but in another sense God has credited us with more Grace and Love than we could possibly hope for. If we could spare a fraction of the grace and love, what difference would it make?

I have the keys to open any door
Give all my possessions to the poor
But I don’t know the first thing about love

Moving mountains ain’t no thing to me

Have faith enough to cast them to the sea

But I don’t know the first thing about love

I give my body up into the flames
And never once did I deny your name
But I don’t know the first thing about love

Thrice “Moving Mountains” (I Corinthians 13)

Thanks
Speaking of grace and love, I must thank my friends and family. First, my father, who offered more than just advice in the midst of this semester, but who is also responsible for any good that might be in me. If he hadn't been there, who knows what I would have made of things. Also to my pastors during this time: Jeff, Dale, and Josh. You were and still are patient with me. My father lives six hours away, and Vineyard has more than made up for it. I hope one day your influence will inspire me to bring the Kingdom that much closer. I have to also thank Dr. Brian Ribiero for his patience and his ability to communicate the hard stuff with clarity. I couldn't have asked for a better professor.

I also thank Sam Harris for being a total jerk to Christians in his book Letter to a Christian Nation. In all seriousness, the book shook me at times, and it put me in the pressure cooker. Thanks to Christopher Hitchens and Douglas Wilson for making a very entertaining documentary (Collision, now available on DVD). A big thanks to Van Til and those he inspired like Richard Pratt, John Frame, and my father. A major reference this semester was Timothy Keller's The Reason for God. I'm still reading it and have found it more than a mere handbook for apologetics.

Most of all I have to thank Jesus for such a powerful and compelling story that I couldn't possibly fall out of love. It's not that I could never let go of God, but that He would never let go of me.

There are, of course, countless others: Brad, my wife Brittany, Bud, my family, Vineyard, and others I have forgotten.

Most of the time I post music on here because they are great performances and favorite songs of mine. I'm mostly posting this song because I think the lyrics are incredibly relevant and meaningful, particularly to Christians.

Before we view the video there are a couple of things you should know about Thrice and this album. They as one of those bands who screams a lot in their songs. Their most recent two albums were comprised of four parts of the total Alchemy Index: Fire and Water for volume (album) one; Air and Earth for volume (album) two. Fire is an album of heavily distorted guitars and raging drums, Water is thought provoking electronic music (synth, digital beats, etc), Air is a lot of clean tones, and Earth is an acoustic driven album. The following is "Moving Mountains" the first song from the Earth portion of The Alchemy Index.

I speak in many tongues of many men
Argue with angels and they always win
But I don’t know the first thing about love
I prophesize and know all mystery
All living things are opened up to me
But I don’t know the first thing about love
I don’t know the first thing about love

I have the keys to open many doors
Give all my possessions to the poor
But I don’t know the first thing about love
I’m moving mountains and have faith in me
Have faith enough to cast them to the sea
But I don’t know the first thing about love
I don’t know the first thing about love

All other things shall fade away
Love stands alone and still holds sway
All other things shall fade away
Into the ground into the grave

I give my body up into the flames
And never once did I deny your name
But I don’t know the first thing about love
I don’t know the first thing about love

Embedding disabled, so to view the video you'll have to go on a trip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik&fmt=18

Just to remind everyone that there are worse things than having a tattoo, my last year's April Fools joke was that I was voting for Hillary. You can rest easy, I do not have a tattoo at all. Some of you are probably relieved for a couple of reasons:
1) That I didn't get a tattoo in the first place
2) That I didn't get that tattoo

In all honesty, I have no problems with tattoos. My associate pastor is decked out in tattoos and I have immense respect for him. I envy him others who have the wisdom to pick tattoos that not only have meaning, but that he others can still appreciate over time. I'm not sure I could pick out something I would still like even one year down the road.

I'm using his picture without permission, but it's public on Facebook so I hope he doesn't mind. As you can see, my associate pastor is far better at doing the tattoo thing than I am:


If I were to get a tattoo I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a cross. If I did a get a cross it would look a lot cooler than that borderline leopard print in the picture. I also would probably avoid phrases like "You Gotta Have Faith." No offense to the person who got the tattoo, but it is a George Michael lyric that was later adapted by Limp Bizkit. My cross would probably say something like "Semper Reformanda."

In short: I don't have a tattoo, if I did it wouldn't be a cross, and even if it was a cross it wouldn't say "You Gotta Have Faith." I always imagined a tattoo of a lion (like Aslan) would be really cool, but I've never seen a picture I thought would be great to put on my body and I wouldn't really know where to put it.

Well, I'm sorry if I caused anyone any stress. Cathy and Cassie both seemed to have caught on that it was a joke. As an apology please accept this totally awesome video:

Hey folks, I know it's been a while, but I've just been so busy I don't know what to do with myself. Over the past month I've been discussing an idea I had with a professional artist and when my tax return came in last week I finally had the money and time to make that idea come true. It's something I've always wanted but never had the guts to do.

Last week after classes I went to Standard Ink where a buddy from my church works. It took a few hours, but when it was all said and done the pain was worth it.


There is nothing in the Bible against tattoos and I felt like getting this would really strengthen my walk as a Christian as a constant reminder to be faithful. I chose the phrase "You Gotta Have Faith" because I felt like it would not only inspire me but the people around me to have faith too.

And don't worry it covers up nicely if need be:

If you watch one video I post on my blog, this is it. Tony Campolo:
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I guess I really don't keep up much with this thing anymore. It's not so much out of neglect as it is a lack of time and even a lack of material as I continue to think about some new ideas. Hopefully, I'll have some new content soon. In the meantime I've added a few links to the right and taken a few away.

For those of you who kept up with my blog while I was in India, you know that I was recruited by Bollywood to be an extra in a Portuguese TV series called Equador (the Portuguese word for "equator). I met all of the cast that you see in scenes I'm in, and had a couple of decent conversations with Marco, the main actor. This was filmed in May of 2008 when Daniel Day Lewis' acting in There Will Be Blood was all the rage. You can certainly see the influence.

I finally found the videos to the two scenes I was in. The videos are about 10 minutes long, but the actual scenes are a lot shorter as the videos include multiple scenes. I'm posting them in High Quality, which still isn't that great. They are probably best viewed fullscreen.

This first scene is some sort of party. They failed to capture the beauty of the fort and the scene, but all the same you can get the idea. I'm more prevailent in the next video, but we'll start here:
The scene starts at 3:50.
At 5:05 you can see me enter from the left accompanying a girl in a white dress (she was recruited with me, and was a tourist/backpacker from Canada).
At 6:43 you get a brief glimse at the back of my head and then when the scene cuts you briefly see me walk by.

This is a poker scene. I found it quite funny because everytime they reshot the scene where he lays down four aces he would say "Poker" (as if the game were Uno) in this Daniel Day Lewis voice. From the beginning it does the fort great justice. It was really neat because it was filmed in an area normally blocked from tourist.
The actual scene starts at about 3:45 and I'm in it throughout the scence.
You see me right off the bat at 4:15 as the first guy on the left in the line of three guys (both cool guys I'm Facebook friends with). You see me shake hands quickly with Marco at 4:39.
At the 5:00 mark you get a pretty good shot of me.
At 5:36 I'm in the background as the camera pans.
The scenes cuts out to the ladies, but does come back to the poker game at 7:00.
At 8:05 comes the all-comedic "Poker" line giving away the fact that no body (except us American extras) had a clue how to play poker.
At 8:25 I'm in the back on the left (with a much less-awkward stance) and again on the right-ish at 8:47 (which cuts in and out until the end of the video).

The poker scene abruptly ends, but I can't find a video where it picks back up (the next video in the sequence is unrelated to this scene).

Captivating indeed. Andy McKee with his "Into the Ocean" piece:

I hope you've all had a great Christmas. This one of my favorite Christmas songs:
Sufjan Stevens - Hey Guys It's Christmas Time

This is the one time of the year that most preachers agree. They all stand at their pulpits on Sunday morning condemning the materialists travesty Christmas has become and use that all-to-familiar phrase "the true meaning of Christmas." Yet many of the same pastors would fight the "evils" of materialism in odd—if not childish—ways. Maybe it is because America isn't ready to give up Santa, Christmas trees, or presents, which all have little or nothing to Christ. Maybe our childish ways of keeping "the true meaning of Christmas" help us feel better about our own materialism. Maybe you and I aren't ready to hear that.

Let's talk about the holiday season. You have Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and a few other holidays all celebrated in this month-long period, yet for as long as I can remember we have always said "Merry Christmas." These days it is important to be politically correct, because the problem with offending someone is not that they are over-sensitive but that you are insensitive. For this reason we say "Happy Holidays." But wait: We have offended the Christians!

This is a dichotomy I get stuck in the middle of every year. As a server I am expected to leave my guests with some sort of holiday oriented valediction, yet I never know what to say. Should I not depart from them with a certain seasonal farewell I would be a Grinch or a Scrooge. What I do say could be as bad as not saying anything at all. Often times I will say "Merry Christmas" and I will be corrected with "Happy Holidays." There are those who simply respect my "Merry Christmas" and in accordance with their own traditions say "Happy Holidays", which I'm fine with. But it's the people who give me glare like a teacher correcting a student (it is quite belittling) that I get that chill in my that I have grossly offended them. The Christmas celebrators do it to. I thought the term "Happy Holidays" was safe, but Christmas celebrators will have nothing of it! Same glare, same chill.

What do we do? Do we simply "Scrooge" ourselves and not say anything? Do we fight the good fight and say whatever it is we believe in. In my pondering I do believe I found the answer. Get over it. That's right, take in a deep breath and stop caring. The whole purpose of the term "Happy Holidays" was meant to not offend anyone. Obviously it does. The whole "true meaning of Christmas" thing means that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus and not some sort of silly victory over the wicked people who don't celebrate Christmas. Why do we bicker so? It truly is childish. Adults respect one another.

I just want it known I paid ten bucks for a table identical to this one in Udaipur (Rajasthan, India). We bought as a present for friends we met there:

World Market's Stupid Expensive Balaji Folding Table